how dating my bumble digital nomad changed me
Would you date a digital nomad (dn) if you weren’t one yourself?
I did. I am.
My partner is a digital nomad. I am not. He as a few online businesses and works from home, or wherever. I work in the hospital. Somehow, we are making our relationship work.
The backstory of why I use(d) the name ‘Bumblebae’
My older and wiser sister mentioned she read my blog the other week and thought it was ‘cute’. I’m not sure if that was what I was going for but I’m happy she read it so I’ll take it.
We didn’t go into detail about what I wrote because a part of me was kind of embarrassed. I’m not sure exactly why I felt that way. Perhaps it’s because we are very different which for some reason made things more embarrassing. I can be quite chaotic with my life choices sometimes so I’m sure she wasn’t too happy reading how I’ve been quite open with my thoughts.
The plans I have definitely don’t suit everyone. I haven’t even told my parents yet…
It’s all in a name
The only thing about my blog that my sister was curious about was how and why I chose the name ‘Bumblebae’ in place of Mitch.
Yes, Mitch is my partner. Mitch aka ‘Bumblebae’. He is The one! Hands off, he’s mine!
I think the reason why I gave him a nickname was because I wasn’t sure whether I wanted people to know his real name? Sounds weird, I know. But I think I wanted some form of privacy to start off with. Now, I’m quite comfortable talking freely.
I used Bumble for the first part of his nickname because that’s how we met – on Bumble. Yup, we both were trying to find ‘modern love‘ (as Aziz Ansari puts it).
Finding a match was once so taboo. People were afraid to admit that they met their partner online. I think it took me 3 years and a night of getting drunk to finally download a dating app. It was scary and fun all a the same time. I got over feeling embarrassed and feeling better than everyone on there.
I’m surprised when I hear of people who are not on any dating app just because it seems like such the norm. It’s easy. It’s a very easy way for hookups but I know more than a 2 handfuls of couple who are in a serious relationship or are married by swiping right.
Mitch and I swiped right on one another. Apparently my photos weren’t stellar but I mentioned I liked pizza and traveling. That’s all it took for him even though pizza and traveling is a love to many (sometimes I wonder how many other people he swiped on) . I swiped right because he was cute and his nomadic life style sounded cool
I asked him several times to meet up. That’s right, I asked Him out. Well, that’s Bumble for you. It’s up to the female to make the first move this way it puts us in control. I guess he wasn’t that interested since he always had an excuse, like not have a car, he needed to babysit, or he was just afraid of downtown and drive was too far… it was a 20min drive away.
I was about to give up. Did I just make myself sound desperate? Haha. Oh well, it worked because it happened! He surprised me by actually taking me up on my offer to meet me at a downtown park where I was reading. I was smitten the moment we started chatting.
‘Bae’, the second part of the name is what the cool kids call their boyfriend or girlfriend. I actually had to google it. Apparently it stands for ‘before anyone else’. Weird. What’s even more weird is that it stands for POOP in Danish! WTF!
Well, that’s it. I am no longer going to be using the term ‘Bumblebae’ in place of Mitch. There you go. Done.
Can you imagine – Bumblepoop…omg.
Anyways, as much as I really enjoyed hanging out with Mitch, I often questioned the relationship and I felt torn.
He made it known that he was planning to go to Toronto for a bit and do his work from there. We hung out quite a bit for few months before he had to leave but I was hesitant and had my doubts during that entire time.
Well, he left for Toronto. I visited him a couple of times and I guess he couldn’t stand being apart from me and came back after 3 months. Hhah. I was able to stick my claws in him!
Even though we only knew each other for a few months before he left, we talked about ‘us’ a lot. He knew my worries and I knew that it would be difficult for him to stay in one spot for a long period of time. We both knew we wanted to be with each other and that we would have to compromise and somehow make things work
No lie, I was nervous for a while when he came back. I was nervous that he would pick up and leave for another city. It’s funny, I wasn’t scared that he’d meet someone else while he was away. I had complete trust in him. I was more scared that another city would lure him away. A less expensive, warmer, safer city with entrepreneurs like him. That’s what digital nomads do, right?
Still mine, still here
Three years later, here we are. He has’t left for another city other than to go to conferences.
Mitch works from our home office on his two online businesses. I guess you can say he is location independent. Something is working. He’s my idle -for now- digital nomad.
Getting ready to leave
He is getting the itch to go. He doesn’t fully admit it but I can feel it in my bones. I can hear it in his voice and I can read his body language. I know he thrives being around other entrepreneurs and feeds off their energy.
Dating a dn is difficult. I knew shortly after meeting him that I would have to really think about my willingness to be able to move if I had to. If I knew I wanted to stay put and never move, then the relationship would have ended. I would never want to force a certain lifestyle on someone. He never forced his goals on me. I knew his plans. It was all up to me.
For me. For us.
He knows that I am willing to move for him. With him. He also knows that I need to figure things out and not rush things. He knows that I am not one to ‘drop and jet’ and that I need to do things on my terms. I’m not doing this just for him. I want to do this for me. For us.
What’s crazy is that I never saw myself leaving this city. Okay, maybe once when I had a huge desire to move to Calgary but then I got comfortable. I was surrounded by family, lots of friends and I had a steady stable job that paid well, I had my own home and I was happy.
Dating a digital nomad isn’t really all that risky. Scary at first, yes. If anything, dating Mitch has helped me see that there is way more to life than just working to save for retirement. Instead of waiting till I’m old to do things, I can do them now.
I didn’t realize that dating a digital nomad would change how I felt.
Having to listen to all of Mitch’s travel stories and all the different places he’s lived in made me really feel the itch to travel more so than ever.
Travel has always been important to me. Every year I would need to get out of this city for some time to get away from work. I relished in traveling abroad.
I have learned and am learning a lot about myself and the risks that I’ve always been afraid to take are not that scary. Having a supportive partner, definitely helps.
Why do I need to be in a job that I’m unhappy in? Yes, it pays great but I was spending 40 hrs a week not being happy. What’s the worth? There are many different online career options out there that will allow me to work and travel. My job isn’t portable so currently I am working on my digital skills.
Family and friends will always be here and there are a lot of ways that make communication easy. Social media is a thing, you know. Being disconnected or feeling lonely can easily be remedied.
Traveling is not that far of a reach and if I make small changes, traveling long term can be a reality. These changes are doable and not as difficult as I once thought. Things will be okay. I just have to accept and deal with whatever life throws at me.
I don’t feel like I’m giving anything up. I wouldn’t give anything up for a man if I didn’t want to. We are in it together. I am eager to leave. I am eager to start something new. I am eager to start our adventure wherever it may lead us.
My advice is to not shy away from dating a digital nomad. As long as you’re open to change, are working towards a same goal and both can make compromises and keep each other in check, things can work out.